How Do You See Yourself?
The only reason I know this photo is from the pre-lockdown, early pandemic days is I’m not wearing a mask and that tube platform is EMPTY
I’m starting with the Anne in the Mirror
(Get it?)
How we see ourselves is a product of a lot of things- how we were raised, where we were raised, our past traumas, our past successes, and how we choose to see ourselves. It can be an important factor in your healing journey, and a map of your past.
How We Learn to View Ourselves
You know how some little kids will tell you that they’re good at everything? In my opinion, that’s our natural state- solid self-confidence and self-esteem. Then society tells us we’re fat, that our skin color makes us less than, or someone is better than us, or we grow up with a religion that tells us we’re wrong, or parents who struggle with their own self-esteem so can’t model how to have self-esteem as an adult… the list goes on and on. We’re graded and tested and shamed into questioning ourselves and we lose that confident, self-loving spirit.
On Wednesdays we wear kindess
Cultural Parents, and the Environment Around
I lowkey love talking about the “cultural parent,” a term introduced my Pearl Drego in 1983. It’s easy to forget that where we grow up shapes who we are. In the same way our guardians shape our upbringing, the cultural parent nurtures our identity through the rich tapestry of traditions, values, and beliefs that define our past and present. We may be more extroverted, confident, subdued, community-minded, reserved (etc.) based on where we’re from. I look at things more optimistically than my British friends, and more individualistically than my Taiwanese friends, and that’s largely to do with being born in the US. Brits raised during World War II are often more stoic than their younger counterparts because they were told to “Keep Calm and Carry On”.
Trauma Takes a Toll Too
But doesn’t it always? Traumatic experiences and upbringing can shake our sense of self, our confidence and even the entire way our brain evaluates the world, our situation and our own being. Trauma can rewire our brains to make it harder to view ourselves in a kind, positive light.
But There’s Hope
If trauma can rewire your brain, so can positive experiences like relationships, therapy, positive self-talk and general practices of wellbeing. You can learn that your upbringing and your surroundings will put different lenses on your vision, and you can try on new glasses, so to speak. Wish you were more naturally self-confident? Actively give it a try for a week and see how you like it. Borrow someone else’s glasses and see if it’s useful to you. Fill your social media feeds with accounts who are body-positive, Queer positive, etc. so you’re not scrolling through negative messaging. Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Starting to view yourself in a more positive light can help heal, and healing can help you view yourself in a more positive light.
What’s On This Week?
We’ll be talking on Instagram this week about the lenses we use to view ourselves.
Check out last week’s episode of Conversations with a Wounded Healer if you haven’t already. Neha and I discuss how colonialism and racism affect the way we see ourselves.
Come practice with me at a yoga class and gong bath in Brighton on Saturday at 9:30am where I’ll invite you to set your intention around self-image
As always
If you’re struggling with mental health, internalized racism, or looking to explore your power and privilege Get in touch to find out more about what I offer!
If you’re in Brighton, I’ll hope to see you on the mat. If you’re far away, I’ll look forward to hearing your feedback on the podcast and hearing from you on Instagram.
Until next week, take good care!
Anne
