Amelia Nagoski - Sage, Scientific Advice For Minimizing The Effects Of Burnout
“Science is the best idea humanity has ever had, but it is deeply and problematically flawed. It is a terrible mess, and also the only hope for our survival as a species.” - Amelia Nagoski
As a recovering over-achiever, I know burnout. I know deeply the combination of bone-deep mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion that manifests in feelings of overwhelm, joylessness, and desperation. Because we live in capitalism, you probably do, too. My unexpectedly musical conversation with author and choir director Amelia Nagoski, DMA, is the burnout primer we all need. She and her sister wrote the book on it. Literally. They wrote an amazong book about the science behind it, the antidote for it, and why women experience it differently than men. Because in a patriarchy, women just can’t catch a break!
Amelia shares the good/bad news from her book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, which she co-authored her twin sister Emily Nagoski, PhD. I LOVED this book. It was sadly relateable and really helpful. The bad news first: It's not that we're trying to counteract burnout incorrectly, or that we're simply incapable of healing. Instead, "The goals that are set are unmeetable [and] unattainable. Demands are unceasing," says Amelia. Especially for women, who are more likely than men to be yanked between society's expectations and the reality of what's actually possible, to say nothing of what we want or enjoy.
The good news? There's a simple fix for burnout: connection. That's it. Amelia encourages us to be brave, even when building relationships seems more complicated than erecting an emotional fortress. Those walls were originally constructed by outside forces anyway, to keep us separated from each other. "Somebody around you really wants that wall down, too," she says. "They're just afraid to ask." I love that! Getting brave together can be an act of rebellion against burnout!
To further her point, Amelia has a Doctorate Of Musical Arts (or DMA), and she’s got a suggestion for us: "Music as a participatory activity is amazing for people as catharsis and as a sense of safety in community. Especially communal singing," she says. Burnout (the book) also offers a safe space, for anyone who's ever felt alone in their burnout. "We hoped it would result in something that will move and touch anyone who wants to hear it, who needs to hear it, who will see themselves in it."
Message 100% received, Amelia!
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Amelia Nagoski, D.M.A. was an Associate Professor and Coordinator of Music at Western New England University. She co-authored the New York Times bestseller Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle with her sister Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. Amelia's work involves helping singers connect with their internal experiences through dynamic techniques. She lives in New England with her husband, one cat, and two rescue dogs.
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